If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
