Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
