it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
