do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
