I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
