grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
