i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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