I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
