I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
