Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
