I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
