I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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