I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
