How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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