left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize