i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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