Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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