Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
