I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
