Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
