Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm always down for nudity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
