Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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