I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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