dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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