Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
