Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
