I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
