doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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