If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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