get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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