i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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