my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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