yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
