Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
