she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
