How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I just put wine in my tea
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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