omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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