Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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