these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
