Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
