More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
