areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
