you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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