FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As shirtless as possible
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
