is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
