me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
