I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
