I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
