Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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