this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
