so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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