If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
