maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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